I miss the pass few years.

I miss last year. I miss how life was so free and full of fun. sec3 life was so much easier. not much stress, not much pressure. really. now in sec4, I feel like shit. all the pressure from parents and teachers all starts to set in. I know, I don't do my homework and study and u might think I'm not having stress... but I am. I think this stress thing is messing with my mood. when I'm stress, my mood will auto turn bad and I don't do my homework. I start to stone and daydream. I start to use my phone, tweet, stalk, anything to get my head out of my studies.
I need to stop this soon. 12 more days to chinese O's, and I'm worried about it. I want to clear this once and for all so end of the year can concentrate on other subjects. I can see there's still potential in me in scoring my A2 in chinese, but I'm plain lazy. I just can't be bothered about my homework. hais, I need to change my habit. at this rate, I can fail chinese. I just need a tiny motivation; just a tiny encouragement from anyone will do. just like how Chen laoshi said I'm improving. I was damn happy when she said those words. I scored 30/40 for my first time on my compo writing. after that I really listened in class. just a tiny encouragement I can try to make myself work harder.
however I know I can't always have someone motivating me. I need to motivate myself! need to find something that really motivates myself! really hope I can find out what motivates me so I can study harder! maybe dance will motivate me!
enough talk about studies!

sec3s are going to cambodia! I want to go to cambodia too! I miss the children over there. I miss sreynoy. wondering how she is now.. I really miss her, that girl is so sweet. still rmb how she skip school just to spent the last day with me cause she know I might not come back...okay, talking about this I feel like crying! memories are flooding my brain. I can go on talking about her, she was like a younger sister to me, funny, cheeky and cute. how I wish to talk to her now! all those sec3s going to cambodia better appreciate this service learning trip! it's really worth remembering! ^^ I can go on talking about the other girl, but guess not ok? teehee. just hoping that all the sec3s enjoy their trip there!

dance. I feel like some old woman I swear. the CSTD dance competition is like asdfghjkl. -.- they used to say its 16 and below, and now they changed to 15 and below. I can't take part in hairspray. hairspray is damn fun, but I'm overaged. and I realized I'm the only freaking sec 4 in tsod2. gosh. after the next 2 weeks I'm gonna change to SDG for fame. there's a performance on 2 july and the last dance practice is on the 27 june. chinese paper is on the 28, and I hope mummy allows me to go.
I think too much too. I keep thinking that ms lee finds me annoying. like I keep hanging around when I can leave anytime for O's. I feel like I'm a burden to her somehow in someways. arghhhh. it's so complicated.

okay, I don't know how long I typed. but this are just somethings I wanted to talked about! goodnight! ^^